great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
