Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
