I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
