um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
