We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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