Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize