wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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