We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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