Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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