it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
