You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
