Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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