I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
