Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize