Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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