Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
