The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize