just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
