I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
