True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
