a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
