i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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