It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
