So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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