I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
