Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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