do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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