just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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