Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
