this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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