is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
