We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
