Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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