And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So squirting runs in the family.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My breasts were aching with rage.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
