So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
