Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize