So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No I am not eating basil off your cock
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
