nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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