there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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