I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
