Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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