Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
