Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
