Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
