what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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