i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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