Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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