I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
