I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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