It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize