Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I stole a fireplace last night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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