Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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