was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do herpes really smell.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
