Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
