No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
