Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
