im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
