Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize