It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
