He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
