If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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