A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
