it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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