All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
