I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
