I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
