How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
